#4 Miss May

 

I am not going to lie: I was angry when I found I was pregnant with Miss May.

 

I wasn't ready. I wasn't in a good place in my life. I didn't want to take the chance of having another miscarriage.

 

Three days after I found out that I was pregnant, my sweet sister in law lost her baby at 22 weeks.

 

Then, my mother died. I was 27 weeks pregnant with Miss May, when I got the phone call that my mother had passed in her sleep. Four days later, my biological father assaulted me. I missed my mothers viewing and because I was in the Labor and Delivery Trauma Unit for most of the night. We almost lost her. Her heart rate dropped and I experienced deep fear. Real ugly fear. I had just lost my Mommy and I was facing losing a second child. I took a deep breath... I can't remember if I prayed, I probably did. Then, her sweet swooshing heart beat once more filled the room.

 

She rescued me from my grief. She became a light and beacon to my life. She has tested every ounce of patience in me. She has pushed every limit and then some. She has been my teacher. She has brought sunshine and thunder to my life.

 

She has never been a cuddly child but she is the most loving. She learned to crawl at 5 months and was walking around the furniture at six months. By nine months she was walking and at a year, she was running. She is one of the smartest (and most cunning) people I know. She is an old soul and has wisdom and strength that is powerful.

 

And I am grateful that I get to be her Momma.