I made one out of desperate necessity: I went back to college because I needed to make a difference in my life and the life of my family."
About three months and two days after I claimed my first, very expensive piece of paper, I realized during Sunday Dinner (no less) that I needed to pursue a second piece of paper. I immediately called my sister, because that is what one does in this situation. I got her advice because your sister usually has the very best advice. Plus, the fact that she works at the University really really helped!
I emailed my former adviser, asking for help and the directions I need to follow in order to get into the Bachelors program. Less than 24 hours later she replied: "you don't need to do anything, congratulations you are in the program". Now... classes started in less than three weeks and I scrambled for money and books and everything!!!
But I had to break the news to my kids- this was not going to be easy. They hated the fact that I had already been in school for that last two years and I was going back for another year.
Bubba Jones's reply was a flat out NO! I couldn't go back because I would always be in (what I called) "homework mode". Miss May wasn't too thrilled either- in fact, I vividly remember my preteen rolling her eyes. Hotstuff... he wasn't thrilled but what can I say?!? I would not have been able to do the last three years without him and his unconditional support and love.
One year and 4 months later- I finished with my Bachelors Degree! Going full time, full speed and taking no less than 13 credits a semester. I graduated!!!
I heard my name called... I walked forward... I shook the hand of my college dean, accepted my diploma cover and smiled really pretty for the camera. I am not going to lie... it was one of the very best days of my life. I knew in that moment, that I can do hard things. I had proven to myself that I could.
My mother once told me that her biggest regret in life was not getting her associate degree. She didn't want me to have that same regret. So there I was, dressed in black, with no regrets.
To quote the ever awesome Tom Petty:
Runnin down a dream, that never would have come to me! Workin on a mystery, going where ever it leads... ya, runnin down a dream!
So what did adding to my already massive student loan and getting another piece of paper teach me?
1. Take time for God
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| Salt Lake City LDS Temple |
So many times, we are told of the importance to take time for ourselves, take time for our families, take time for this... take time for that! As if there is 270 hours in the day!! My "Me Time" was spent on my commutes to and from Campus or my internship. Time management took on a whole new meaning while I was in school. I understand, you don't want one more thing you have to give a priority to.
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| Seattle LDS Temple |
I took the time, once a month, to faithfully attend Temple. However, once I began to devote some time to my God, to my faith; miracles began to happen. I made honor roll almost every semester. I found more time for my family, for my Hotstuff, for my school work, for everything. All of those hard things- I was able to do them because I took time for my God.
"But I am an atheist!" you claim. That is okay... take time to recognize the creations that are around you. Recognize those wonders that are bigger than you are. Take a moment to be amazed by this great big world you live in. Find the good in your life.
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| My good in my life- My Miss May |
2. What is required isn't what is always right
I had this class... two classes. I hated them. Took them both in the same semester. One class, I couldn't understand why I needed to take this "upper division" class and why it wasn't a required freshman class. The other... while it was very informative, had NOTHING to do with my degree but it was required.
Steve Jobs, in his 2005 Commencement speech at Stanford University talked about dropping out of college.
"So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.... If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later."
I never quite understood what he meant until I had been in my "informative but nothing to do with my degree class". I was there because it was required. The assignments I needed to do had nothing to do with anything I could apply practically to any part of my life- personal and professional. Those classes were a waste of time and money but I was on a time and money crunch. I needed to get things done but if I had had the chance, I would have taken those classes that were not required of me. I would have taken the time to learn something valuable and worthwhile.
3. I can do hard things!!
I have fibromyalgia. I have IBS-C. I have a broken uterus. I am an Asthmatic. I have a broken body.
Every single one of us can do hard things. The only thing that really truly is stopping us is ourselves. Many times I blogged about not being able to paint or crochet. I started painting a year ago and it finally clicked in my brain on how to crochet. I realized I couldn't do those things because I was stopping myself- I gave up too easily. I am the next Rothko? Probably not, but I enjoy learning about art and painting. I may never crochet as well as my Oma did but I have a small skill that will provide lots of newborns with hats.
4. Learn by example
There are some things that our textbooks and professors can't teach us. Those are the things that we need to learn through the experiences we have outside the class room.
5. How I did it....
"I don't know how you do it!"
It was the one phrase that so many would tell me. I didn't know how to answer them. Truthfully, it all goes back to taking time for my God. There was something bigger than me helping me. I had the support of husband and two amazing offspring. I had a words of encouragement from friends and family. I had professors who cared about me and worked with me. I finally passed that stupid effing math class!!!! And I got a B+!!!!!!!!
There is something bigger than ourselves. Call it what you want. But that something bigger than me, I know that is how I was able to do any of it.
6. "Bob Ross is Marijuana! Except, you don't smoke him- you just watch him!"
Those are the wise words my Mother in Law claimed. While writing my final paper [my internship report... 20 page nightmare!] I was extremely stressed. My blood pressure was through the roof. I was ready to cry. I hit the worst mental block of my life and I had nothing to help me!! I was sitting at my computer staring at my screen and realizing it was too quite in my basement. I needed some noise. So off to the trusty Netflix for some background noise and what do I find?!?
CHILL with BOB ROSS!!!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! It was like Marijuana from Heaven! I turned on the first episode and turned back to my paper. Within in a few minutes, my blood pressure began to bottom out. I was super relaxed. My mental block began to fade. I was golden. By the end of the third episode, I had to turn it off because I ready to fall asleep and I was hungry.
I was so relaxed I couldn't give an (expletive F-word) about the fact that he had just painted the same damn picture 3 times! Or that all of his trees were happy!!! I was so chill that I could finally write my paper. I called my mother in law to tell her of my experience, later that night. And that is what she said to me: "Bob Ross is Marijuana! Except, you don't smoke him- you just watch him!"
That is what I learned, for a whole lotta money!
Oh! and I finally received my Credentials!!! Now, I have to study for my next set of credentials.
The job hunt has begun and I while I wait for my phone to ring, I am going to enjoy being a "stay at home Mom" until I go completely nuts! And in the meantime, I will wait for the anxiety attacks regarding my impending student loan bill slowly creep up on me.
Was it worth it?
Worth every last student loan dime!
